Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Sorting the Seeds

This is a quote from Jungian analyst Marion Woodman's The Pregnant Virgin:

Sorting the seeds is a daily process of ruthless honesty that allows us grain by grain to discover our Being. the Latin verb esse means "to be"; thus in discovering our Being we are discovering our essence. This is a monumental task when we have spent our lives Doing, especially when Doing has become an escape from Being because Being is experienced as nothingness.

Again and again we have to say to ourselves: What was my feeling in that situation -- not my emotions, my feeling? My emotions may support my feeling, but emotions are affective responses determined by complexes, momentary reactions to an immediate situation. Feeling, on the other hand, evaluates what something is worth to me. What am I willing to put energy into ? What is no longer of value to me? What did I really feel when the boss fed me Smarties today? I've always enjoyed them before, but today I felt him saying, "Be a good little girl. Keep quiet. Don't bother me." Why am I depressed? (Follow the depression back to where I betrayed my own feeling and turned my energy against myself). Is it possible my lover is not the man I thought him to be? Does he see me at all? Am I projecting my own inner man onto him? Am I forcing him to take responsibility for my undeveloped talents? Am I treating my body as my mother treated hers? Am I thinking like my father? Where am I blindly reacting as they did? Where am I still reacting childishly? Is my anger coming from my gut or my head? Is it feminine anger or animus anger? (Feminine anger cleanses; animus anger leaves me tense.) Guided by the response of the unconscious as revealed in dreams, we differentiate grain from grain, question after question, until one day we find our own authentic voice.

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